Breaking the Law - Can I Escape the Long Arm?

In the previous post I mentioned that one of the things I enjoy most about being a cyclist is the ubiquitous parking which comes along with owning a bicycle and a stout cable lock. Well, today I’m going to discuss something else I enjoy immensely while riding: breaking traffic laws.

Conveniently, cops seem to look the other way when anyone who is using their legs breaks laws. Although I’ve heard rumors of tickets issued for jaywalking, I have yet to have a personal experience where this is the case, nor have I heard it from anyone to whom it directly happened. I would venture to say that a pedestrian safely crossing the street when traffic permits stands a very low chance of receiving a citation. Similarly, I’ve been blowing stoplights, stop signs, crosswalks, and disobeying most traffic laws in D.C. for nearly a year and have yet to receive as much a stern look from DC’s finest. I would like to think this is because they have much more important things to do, like busting the meth dealer who lives across Georgia Avenue from me, but in my cynical world, it means they just don’t care.

In stark contrast, a car which safely crosses traffic during a red light has zero chance of getting away with it if witnessed by a cop, and due to the magic of red right cameras (at least here in DC), small chance of getting away with it period. I have personal experience with this, although not in DC: I “ran” a red around midnight on a Wednesday or something in my college town (by “ran” a red I mean stopped, looked both ways, then turned left), and was immediately stuck with a ticket I couldn’t afford. I have yet to receive a traffic citation while driving in the District, but I’ve heard horror stories from coworkers who were stopped for running a yellow. Frightening.

Unless traveling on a major north-south thoroughfare or Route 50 or something, I usually end of at least keeping up with car traffic, if not passing it. This is especially true when I’m on my way to work; clipped in, legs pumping, I’m a fearsome warrior who overcomes obstacles (stop signs, traffic lights, crappy DC streets, and those damned huge steel plates everywhere in NW) and enemies (cars, pets, people) to get to work and bring the beer money home. During more leisurely rides (to Giant, Wonderland, etc.), I’m okay with cars getting there faster, content that I’m spending less money, getting exercise, paying nothing to Exxon, emitting no gases, and in general being the perfect member of society. In fact, no one describes it better than a famous bicycle blogger: my cone of smugness is in place.

My best days are when I’m in leisure mode, yet traffic is so heavy due to construction, a roped off murder scene, or the Starbucks line in Dupont I still manage to beat cars to my destination. Nothing irks me more than a car veering far into the opposite lane to pass, only to screech to a stop at the upcoming red light, often cutting me off in the process and nearly forcing me to clip the protruding rear view mirrors of the parked cars to my right. Instead of instantly becoming angry, I calm myself and search deep down for what would, in turn, most irritate this particular driver. Usually, this involves me coasting up to the red light, looking both ways, and then continuing on my merry way while the driver waits, fuming, at the red. Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly nasty, I’ll turn around and wave.